Will you be my pen pal?

I've been watching a lot of Felicity, and before you laugh at that statement hear me out. She has this friend, Sally, who she talks to on a tape recorder and sends the tape through the mail. It's really great. Sally is a dear friend to Felicity and someone with whom she feels like she can share her most inner secrets. She tells her all about her day to day and the exciting and mundane things that happen. This show was back before Facebook and only a few characters actually have cell phones, some have beepers (kinda amazing how far we've come). So these tape recordings are the main way Felicity talks to her friend Sally. And then Sally will send her a tape back. It's really great. I promise.

And then I read this post on Thought Catalog about how we should write more letters and it got me thinking...I want to write letters! And how wonderful is it when you receive things in the mail that isn't junk or bills?! I've recently received a few cards for my birthday from some family members and it's so wonderful to read what they write. My dad draws these amazing doodles in all of my cards and my grandpa give me advice on how to fix Washington (we usually don't see eye-to-eye) and I love it. Imagine getting a 2 page letter all about what's going on in someones life, their wonderful experiences, the thoughts they are afraid to speak out loud, the endless possibilities of what they could divulge in eloquent words when they put their pen to that piece of paper and let their hearts flow. It would be a beautiful thing.

So, I ask, will you be my pen pal?

<3 Tina <3

It's Nice to Hear

Happy Monday  :)

I've been thinking a lot lately about the things we don't say or hear enough. This is kinda a branch off from a previous post, but just a little more.

Here are a list of things that are nice to hear:

1. "You're so beautiful/handsome." - many feminists or whatever they want to call themselves might argue this, but I am always up for hearing this one. For example, I went to a friends wedding in Michigan a few weeks ago and her sister said "I need to take a picture with Tina (that's me) before you go." My friend says "Why?" And her sister says, "Because I need to show my friends how pretty she is!" Does that not just melt your heart? It was so sweet and unexpected to hear. It made my day :)

2. When someone you care about *finally* gets the job/audition/super cool gadget/you-name-it that they have worked so hard for and have been waiting for for, like, ever. It's so nice to hear that someone is excited. It makes me excited with them.

3. "Nap time!" Seriously, who doesn't like nap time? This would be a great thing to hear!

4. When you're down and someone does everything they can to pull you out of your slump. Maybe it's words, but maybe it's them acting like a goofball trying to make you smile and laugh. Laughter is really a nice thing to hear. It's contagious.

5. Summer breeze rustling through the trees on a sunny day. Just close your eyes and imagine.

6. "I appreciate all your hard work!" There was a gentleman in my office that would give the most sincere compliments out of nowhere about how great you were doing and how what you do is helping the organization as a whole. It was so refreshing to hear because its easy to get bogged down when you feel like your work doesn't get noticed or make a difference.

7. "I love you." Every time someone says those three words to you, soak it in. Love is such a wonderful thing to share.

What are some things you like to hear?

<3 Tina <3

Student Loans Ruined My Life

If money problems make you uncomfortable, stop reading now.

I'm broke. Broker than broke, actually. My bank account reads a glowing red -$38.47.
And I'm expecting another $125 to try to go through probably today for my parking  at my office building. 

Awesomeeeee.

I'm leaving tomorrow for Michigan for one of my best friend's wedding. The gas light is on in my car. I have 2 gift certificates I won at work for being awesome that total $50 that are missing in the pile of crap from my recent move. I have a $50 gift card for Victoria's Secret that won't be getting me very far as well as a Macy's gift card that's not getting me anywhere.

The plan tonight is to play a game called "What Can I Return?"

I've had some things that need to go back to Walmart, Kmart, and Target that are in my back seat right now that I will be taking back that will get me about $50. 

The cash that I currently have will be going into my account to get my balance back to a beautiful black $0.00 or above.

I have a little room to feed myself on my credit cards for the next 1.5 weeks.

Please pray for me that I find a new job and my student loan consolidation goes through because I can't handle life right now and I'm tired of crying.

I'm so fucked right now. 

Happy Tuesday!

Talk about feelings? I like kitties...

Why is it so difficult to tell someone close to you that they are hurting your feelings?

Or to tell someone that you want to be a part of their life? Using the wise words of my dear friend, "it's [not] that you want to be surgically attached, it's that you want to feel like you're part of [their] whole life, not just a segment of it."

Why is it so hard to say that? 

I don't really have much to say on the matter because, quite honestly, I can't organize my thoughts enough to get it down. My brain is jumbled. And I'm feeling down.

I tend to think my not wanting to talk about my feelings is because of my many failed attempts to do so in the past, and the losers that I dated making it seem like my feelings didn't matter. So, I've been conditioned in a way. Keep your feelings in, even if you don't like how things are going. Deal with it. Bah!

I struggle to be better in this arena. I strive to be better in life in so many ways. At work, I push myself to do better, set goals and try my hardest to exceed them. In life, I pride myself on being adventurous and find it exhilarating to make great changes like packing my belongings into a U-haul and moving to an unknown city. I try to get involved in new things regularly and continue to learn about my body, limits, and push boundaries. But when it comes to how I feel, that is a struggle I can't seem to surpass.

This is now my focus. I will work to do better with expressing the feelings I tend to bottle up. Any advice in doing this is welcome.

Do you struggle with sharing your feelings? How do you work past the fear?

Now look at these fluffy kitties!

<3Tina

A Recipe for the Books!

It's been awhile. I've been a huge slacker with blogging, made obvious by my lack of posts. I want to do better. And I'm going to try to have a post at least once a week and go from there.

I have a recipe for you, for your friends, your siblings, coworkers, etc.. Anyone who will take the time to listen. This one is for the books and everyone should have it.

As of late, I've witnessed and experienced really foul attitudes towards others who are striving for success and obtaining goals they have set for themselves. Why can't we just be excited for others? Support them in their lives and strive for better ourselves?

Short story time: A lady in my office is constantly putting others down. Pointing out the flaws of anyone and everyone and making a personal vendetta against some. It's very strange. Most recently, she has voiced her opinion on the fact that a couple of recent interns would soon be at the same level that she is currently (and she's been here for some years). Well, she is not happy about that. And everyone knows. But maybe if she didn't put all of her time and energy into negativity, she would have more time to work, progress, and get promoted herself. Hmmmm???

As for the recipe...it's simple.

1 part excitement
1 part support

That's it! Some physical activity such as jumping up and down might be involved but not always required.

Feel free to leave out the:

Jealousy
Hate
Judgement
Resentment

When you're friend has done well at work and is awarded and they call you to celebrate, get excited for them!! If they have been looking for work and finally nail an interview and think it could result in an offer, jump up and down with them!! They called YOU because they thought you would be there for them! Not be bitter and angry because you aren't getting the same things. If what they are achieving is something you, too, would like to do, seek advice and work hard. And after you that and don't see the results you'd like, work *harder*.

Get excited because they are excited. Feel good because your friend feels good. Don't let those ugly negative feelings take over. You are in control of your thoughts and feelings. Make the necessary changes so that you can be happy, not only for yourself but for others.

My last piece of advice... tell those around you that you are proud of them or congratulate them on a job well done. You don't have to be prompted to do this, just do it on your own. It's so good to see a friend smile.

Have a good day, friends!

<3Tina